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Fall is bullshit unless there are caramel apples involved.

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Well, it happened: I blinked, and summer was gone. I truly don't know where it went, so if anyone happens to see a summer running around wild and free, could you please try to catch it and return it to me? 

On the upside, it was a pretty good couple of months. I got to do this fantastically fun show at Legion Bar, where I gave a Ted Talk on a 1999 Madonna video. Madonna's material is many-layered, profound, and truly fertile ground for intellectual inquiry (and comedy). So that was fun. 

As always, I also got to write some stuff for The Whiskey Journal! My work seems to have had a cinematic theme this summer, with some thoughts about Wonder Woman kicking the summer off, and some thoughts about Disney movies sending the summer out. I've also got a new piece with a ~*new outlet*~ coming later in the month, so be sure to check back in to see it when it goes live! At the current rate I'm posting, I should have a link on my website by March. Of 2047. 

Unfailingly, the best part of every summer for me is travel, but the worst part is airline fuckery. In spite of Delta's best attempts to stop me, I spent some quality time in Bermuda, Toronto, and Iowa this summer.  I had a blast and took a lot of vain selfies. 

Coincidentally, you can hear me tell a story about a much more ill-fated trip this Saturday, September 9th, at Ilana Michelle Rubin's show SICK: a comedy show about illnesses & injuries. It got written up in Brokelyn, and how cool is that? 

Well, I'd love to stick around and chat, but I have to go & stop my cat from butt-scooting all over my rug. I hope your summer was as glamorous as mine, with slightly fewer cat-butts! 

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But I remember more than I forget!

Have you ever had a really great idea while you were in the middle of something, finished whatever you were doing, and then realized you'd forgotten the idea by the time you were ready to write it down? Happened to me yesterday - I was getting dressed to go out to dinner, had a great idea for a sketch, went to dinner, filled my face up with Thai food, came home, and realized that I only remember my excitement about the idea, and not the idea itself. Oops. I'm still kind of mad about it. 

Fortunately, even if I never remember my idea and the world never gets to see the sketch, I've still got some other stuff going on. I've got two new articles up at The Whiskey Journal: the first is about a scenario every woman in comedy has dealt with, and the second it on a scenario that I hope most of us haven't.  Buzzfeed also put one of my jokes in this fantastic list of feminist tweets, and I'm so grateful to be included that I could just devour a greek yogurt in joy!

I also got to work on this awesome sketch for the Sunday Something Show! It's about a topic that I think is very relevant and important right now: capitalizing upon your failed relationships. Don't just watch it for your own benefit - watch it for society

The video I mentioned in my last post premiered at QuickieFest, and now it's online for all to see. We shot it on a frigid day, so I'm really glad it came out so well - at least our frozen limbs contributed to great art! 

And more is on the way! I recorded a podcast last month that should be released soon, and on Monday I'm doing Jake Lucas' show Fit or Fucked at The Pit Loft. Come for fitness-related comedy and learn about my many insecurities!

I could write more about how hard it is to have the short-term memory of the goldfish, but I can't remember what else I wanted to say about it. Until next time!

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See you at the sock hop!

It's SPRING! The weather is gorgeous, the days are longer, and if I hadn't just slammed my finger in the door, life would be good!

I'm just going to have to grin and bear my bruised-up fingernails, though, because I've got too much comedy going on to let them slow me down. I had a fantastic time at The Check-In With Room 31 last night! It was an all-around great show, and it was so much fun to try out some new jokes. 

I also had a great time writing some copy for a product that I DEFINITELY LOVE A WHOLE LOT and absolutely, certainly WAS NOT PAID TO PRAISE over at The Whiskey Journal. Head on over for a 100% truthful review that was undoubtedly unbiased by any sort of financial transaction.

On other digital frontiers, I got to shoot a fantastically fun video last weekend. Here are some stills - if you want to see the final product, you'll have to come to Quickie Fest III on April 27th! 

 Ugh, boys. 

Ugh, boys. 

I also got to be in a super fun video for Lady Sketch Cram: Sketch CLAM! last month. We shot this video on a freezing day, but our laughter lifted us right out of the cold. Well, not really. We all felt very fucking cold. Worth it, though! 

Basically, it's been such a great month that I'm almost not mad about my smashed up finger! Almost. I'm still mad enough to post a picture of it here:

 See how my middle finger is totally smashed?

See how my middle finger is totally smashed?

Stay well and un-smashed! 

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All kinds of stuff

Long time, no website update! Apparently I started this draft in December, and I'm now finishing it on March 4th. It's all good, though, because that's a pretty accurate reflection of how long it takes me to write 100 words (get it? What I'm saying is, I'm lazy). 

Anyway - on to the updates! I got to make this lovely video with Jon Bershad, and we premiered it at Quickiefest, which was quite fun! Embedded here for your viewing pleasure:

 

Moving on, it would have been seasonally appropriate to post this several months ago, but honestly, it's always Sufjan season around here. I got to be a part of Dylan Evans' Christmas Cover Project this year, reviewing Sufjan Steven's cover of Santa Claus is Coming to Town. He couldn't have picked a better version for me, and reviewing it was super fun. Find my review here

Finally, I decided to help YOU-yes, you!-become an important social media influencer with my latest piece for The Whiskey Journal: Social Media Tips From a Successful Instagram Dog.

Check back in with me in another 3 months, and maybe I'll have managed to write 150 words by then! 

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It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel, well, maybe not fine, but okay, ya know?

Wow - last time I wrote an entry here, the leaves were beautiful, bright colors, the season was young, the possibilities were endless, and we hadn't yet elected a talking sheep's bladder to serve the county as Tweeter-in-Chief. Oh, those innocent, heady days! 

The only tarnished silver lining to this terrible pit of doom is myriad opportunities for comedy, and boy, have I been taking advantage of it! In October, I was thrilled that Buzzfeed included one of my jokes in a fantastic list of feminist humor.

I'm ALSO now hosting a great new mic at The Experiment Comedy Gallery! Topical Humor Mic is a biweekly standup & storytelling mic with a different prompt for each week. We're up the first and third Saturdays of the month at 9:30. Next one's Saturday the 17th - come join us!

It's been a long time since I've updated this with shows (oops), so instead of giving you the usual retrospective, I'll just let you know what's coming up this week: first, I'm doing This is CNN at The Experiment tonight. It's current events comedy, because the news just isn't funny enough lately. On Wednesday, I get to do the Quip Cup Tournament with Play You Guys!! It's an honor to participate, and I hope to bring home the cold, or at least crack a few funnies. You'll be able to join in and watch digitally - I'll tweet a link Wednesday evening! 

Finally, I've been doing a little writing: I've got a new piece about the Clinton email investigation up at The Whiskey Journal, and I've also got a piece up at the New Yorker, which I'm low-key thrilled about.

So yeah, I'd say that my apocalypse is going just fine! 

 

 This is what lowkey thrilled looks like on me

This is what lowkey thrilled looks like on me

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Pumpkin spice comedy

Oh, Autumn. The leaves are changing colors, the air is getting cooler, and it's time to pour yourself a piping hot mug of comedy! 

I just had the pleasure of writing some hard-hitting chocolate journalism for The Hairpin. It's not satire, because chocolate is a topic I take very seriously. Please read it - it's delicious!

I also got to write a new piece about fitness retreats for The Whiskey Journal! This one is satire, because who could possibly take fitness retreats seriously? 

Finally, I get to kick off my weekend doing some stand up at the Miss Elizabeth Free-Per-View Comedy Hour. Between standup and chocolate, it's shaping up to be a damn fine fall! 

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Fresh, hot content!

Oh, boy - it's Wednesday, it's almost a holiday weekend, and i've got two new videos and one new humor piece coming your way! First, I got to make one more video for The Whiskey Journal, completing my career as a cooking show host! 

Next, with the presidential race heating up, I got to do some cool political reporting, also at The Whiskey Journal! 

Finally, I'm pleased to announce that I will be completing for love & glory (mostly glory) at The Bachelor LIVE on September 9th! I made this intro video so that the public can get to know me as a candidate - if you like it, please click through to the Facebook event and like it there, too! After all - it's a competition, and I'm playing to win. Or, at least to make a big fucking scene. 

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Let's pretend it's not August

I've noticed a definite "oh man, time flies!" theme in my blog post titles, and I'm continuing that proud tradition today by saying HOLY SHIT, I cannot believe it's August! July treated me well - on top of a handful of standup & storytelling shows, I got to do a really fun bit in The Bachelorette LIVE, and #soalone had a fun-filled family reunion! 

August started off strong with a shoutout from Who Ha Ha, who included my recent 140-character memoir of confusion and struggle in The Funniest Tweets Of The Whole Damn Week. Thanks, Who Ha Ha!

If 140 characters isn't enough for you, fear not: I've got some shows coming up too, starting tonight with The Telephone Show at the Pit Loft! Out of all the childhood games that adults do not play but probably should, I like Duck Duck Goose best, but Telephone is a close second, so I bet this show will be a blast. 

Next, my incredible Advanced Study Harold class has three shows to show you our newly-acquired improv skills: August 13th at 4:15, August 16th at 6pm, and August 20th at 4:15. All shows are at UCB Chelsea. This is one of the best classes I've ever taken, so I think it's gonna be awesome, and if it's not, you're only out $5. Win-win!

Finally, I'm debuting a BRAND NEW BIT on August 28th at New Bits! The lineup of this show is fantastic, and all those brand new bits will be so fresh & so clean clean. Come!

So far, that's it for August - check back in for my inevitable back-to-school post in September. I'll show you my brand new pencil case! 

 

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Wait, is it summer?!

HOLY WOW! Summer is here! I kicked off the season with Summer Camp Movie Buffs, which was a blast, and only gave me 3 mosquito bites. 

If you've got any summer potlucks on the calendar, I've got you covered: I released a new video for The Whiskey Journal with a helpful recipe for you!

It's a little late to post this, but back in June, I wrote this touching Father's Day Tribute. Check it out if you have trouble communicating difficult feelings to loved ones, or if you don't!

And, of course, I've got some shows coming up! On Monday, I get to do Kaleidoscope with Jamie Kilstein and some other improvisers who are way better than me. It's gonna be an awesome show, and I'm counting on my teammates to make me look way more talented than I actually am. 

On Tuesday, I get do to a story at Late Night with Lani! This show is past my bedtime, so you know it's gonna get weird. 

Finally, I'm ending the week strong with an appearance at Death Comedy Jam on Thursday! Come for the comedy, come for the free Tecate, but like, don't TELL me that you only came for the free Tecate, ya know? Like, keep that to yourself. 

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It's Movie Time!

The sun is shining, the trees are pollen-ing, and summer is upon us! And if all you wanna do on these hot, sticky days is sit in an air-conditioned theater and watch movies, I've got you covered! First, I made a sketch for The Whiskey Journal. Do you like food videos? Watch it! You'll like it! Do you dislike food videos? Watch it! You'll like it too!

If you enjoyed the video but deeply regret that you didn't get to hear my melodious voice, don't worry: here's a link to my episode of the Nights of Our Lives podcast! There, you can hear about one of my most deeply traumatic experiences and have a good laugh. 

While I'm still (kind of) on the topic of movies, Anna and I also have another Movie Buffs show coming up on July 6th! This time, we'll be reviewing summer camp movies, and if you don't come, we'll TP your bunk. 

I've also got some non-movie live shows on the calendar! On May 31st, I'm doing The Decoy Effect at Legion Bar. Should be a really fun show, just don't mistake my decoy for me, because that would be awfully awkward.

On June 8th, I get to make a triumphant return to A Fine Show Indeed at the Bushwick Public House, which is indeed a fine show! 

On July 14th, I'm doing Death Comedy Jam at The Creek and the Cave. It's an awesome show and I can't wait to promote it with a whole bunch of skull emojis.

Finally, Mother's Day has come and gone, but don't worry: I got my mom a gift, and I wrote this useful guide to help others do the same. Read it now, remember it for next year.

That's it for now! Happy summer, everyone!

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A dental emergency, and also some other stuff

Holy crap, is it May already?! I've been off the radar for a little while following a dental emergency (baby's first root canal! Aw!), but I'm pleased to announce that I am now just a few antibiotics and one crown away from totally healthy. Fortunately, it hasn't slowed me down TOO much...

On Wednesday, I took my swollen face to Nights of Our Lives and had so much fun - audio should be up on BreakThru Radio soon! 

I also got to write a new piece for The Whiskey Journal, and I promise it's not autobiographical...

For all you night owls, I'm doing The Switch tonight at The Tender Trap at 10pm! It's going to be a really good time. Definitely more exciting than Game of Thrones. Solemn promise. 

Finally, Jon Hess and I have a video coming your way real soon. Stay tuned! In the meanwhile, here's a sneak preview:

 

 

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And then it was Spring!

February and March were so busy that I didn't even have time to post here, but that doesn't mean I've got nothing to show for it! I capped off a busy February with the Oscars Edition of Movie Buffs, which was tremendously fun, and if I may, Oscar-worthy. I kept up the momentum in March with shows at Freddie's, 706 Bar, and Muchmore's, and got to be a guest on Nicole Conlan's totally awesome podcast - you can listen to my episode right here! Finally, I got to write a new humor piece about a mistake that I have definitely certainly absolutely never made myself. 

April showers won't slow me down: you can see me this Tuesday, April 12th, at Players Only at Broadway Comedy Club. 

Also, I joined Snapchat. 

Oops.

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